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On Ash Trays and Accomplishments

  • 04.22.13
  • Dale
  • · Blog · Musings · Random Thoughts

Whenever I hear my dad’s old ash tray move on a table I get nostalgic. It’s got a specific pitch to it that I could pick out of a lineup. I don’t really have too many memories about it per se, but it’s kinda like the jingle of a familiar keychain – which my dad also has. I’ve been really lucky to have my dad pushing me to be more productive, complaining at me when I don’t return his calls or texts, and be one of the best cheerleaders I have. Without him, I’d probably be bumbling around, knocking my head into things more often than I already do…

Who do you have in your life that’s pushing you to be better than you are?

Sometimes we don’t realize it, you know. Sometimes it feels like it’s just somebody pointing out our inadequacies – especially if they’re giving advice or input on something you’re already upset about, or disappointed with. We can get defensive or nitty, letting our insecurities prevent us from hearing someone out. We end up saying things like “don’t tell me what to do”, or “this isn’t easy, you know!”, and it’s almost never necessary – if you’re talking to the right people, at least.

Other times we are justified, when not only our methods and strategies are picked at, but even our goals are attacked. We end up yelling the same stuff in the ensuing arguments, but I think in this case, it’s really the self-appointed counsellor who needs to take a step back and shut up.

But how do we tell the difference when we’re probably all worked up by the time somebody says something that just wrecked your mood?

Way I see it, the onus is on us, the ones who feel attacked. You may think that it’s the responsibility of other people to try and be gentle with your feelings, but seriously, people can’t read your mind. Besides, if you fly off the handle when you feel attacked without checking the situation all the way out, you’ll just get into way more shouting matches than nature intended.

So next time you feel attacked, step back, check if the person at least thinks they’re trying to help you with your actual goals, and act accordingly.

Check yo’self before you wreck yo’self, you guys.

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